i'm an extraordinary machine -fiona apple
There has been a lot of drama at school lately... and internally, I've been going through a lot too.
Last week I had a moron doctor poke and prod me until he hurt me a great deal and made me cry, then suggest that I had a tumor in my vagina before dismissing me. I had a nice lady do an ultrasound and it turns out that there is nothing wrong with me except that I am being told once again that I am not built to bear kids, and the idiot doctor, to cover his idiocy, tried to suggest that I am deformed internally due to hormones my mother may have taken in the 70's.
Next, a friend is giving me the silent treatment and when I beg her to tell me what I did to make her mad she says in the stoniest voice I have ever heard "I'm not mad at you." She never does this because she's mad at anyone else... just me, so I know it's something I did, but how in the world can I make it up to her if I don't know what I did!?!
Friends fought today to the point that I had to restrain one of them as she tried to lunge at the other who was walking out. It's okay that they fought... I think they needed to, but I hate that things are going to be weird in our group for a while.
My brother suddenly wants to be a policeman... what a change from a few years ago when he wanted to overthrow our capitalist government and their system of oppression. I doubt being a cop would do anything positive for his attitude, though.
My schoolwork doesn't get any easier, and honestly, I'm flooded. My professors mostly love me, but that makes it even harder when I can't get everything done. I'm having to read part of Madame Bovary straight up in English because I struggled for hours in French and had no idea what was going on. After tomorrow, I'll try again with the French version....
This weekend there are obligations galore: volunteering at a public library, mural painting at an elementary school, helping Mom in moving furniture, going to a drag king show (shush Nette, we're a liberal arts college that is liberal), a play on Sunday, and then I have to go to Randy's place to see where all the baby stuff is kept before I can start babysitting on Thursday. I also should help with an art show because a lot of my friends are in it... But I only have so much energy and simply thinking about it all is making me exhausted.
School sucks. Nette, you should come visit my school this summer. For all you say you love Tech, and I know you do, I still think you would think my school is pretty. The library is amazing. I could check out movies and we could have a movie night in my extremely warm room on campus :-) Yay!
Okay so there's my venting and update. Love love luff.
Last week I had a moron doctor poke and prod me until he hurt me a great deal and made me cry, then suggest that I had a tumor in my vagina before dismissing me. I had a nice lady do an ultrasound and it turns out that there is nothing wrong with me except that I am being told once again that I am not built to bear kids, and the idiot doctor, to cover his idiocy, tried to suggest that I am deformed internally due to hormones my mother may have taken in the 70's.
Next, a friend is giving me the silent treatment and when I beg her to tell me what I did to make her mad she says in the stoniest voice I have ever heard "I'm not mad at you." She never does this because she's mad at anyone else... just me, so I know it's something I did, but how in the world can I make it up to her if I don't know what I did!?!
Friends fought today to the point that I had to restrain one of them as she tried to lunge at the other who was walking out. It's okay that they fought... I think they needed to, but I hate that things are going to be weird in our group for a while.
My brother suddenly wants to be a policeman... what a change from a few years ago when he wanted to overthrow our capitalist government and their system of oppression. I doubt being a cop would do anything positive for his attitude, though.
My schoolwork doesn't get any easier, and honestly, I'm flooded. My professors mostly love me, but that makes it even harder when I can't get everything done. I'm having to read part of Madame Bovary straight up in English because I struggled for hours in French and had no idea what was going on. After tomorrow, I'll try again with the French version....
This weekend there are obligations galore: volunteering at a public library, mural painting at an elementary school, helping Mom in moving furniture, going to a drag king show (shush Nette, we're a liberal arts college that is liberal), a play on Sunday, and then I have to go to Randy's place to see where all the baby stuff is kept before I can start babysitting on Thursday. I also should help with an art show because a lot of my friends are in it... But I only have so much energy and simply thinking about it all is making me exhausted.
School sucks. Nette, you should come visit my school this summer. For all you say you love Tech, and I know you do, I still think you would think my school is pretty. The library is amazing. I could check out movies and we could have a movie night in my extremely warm room on campus :-) Yay!
Okay so there's my venting and update. Love love luff.
posted by Angie-la at 9:59 PM
2 Comments:
a policeman?! what's next, a stock broker? dang, he changes his mind more than i do! and i agree that it won't help his attitude. doesn't he realize police is just a tiny step away from military? is he trying to turn out just like dad? yikes!!!
i'm sorry things have been rough lately. you're almost done, though! keep with it!!!
update, update, update!
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